Drug Abuse

My Kid Is Using - Now What? >

• Maintain your composure. Do not lose your temper.

• Sit down and have a conversation with your child in a private, distraction-free environment. Make sure that phones are put away, and that TVs and other devices are turned off.

• Be aware of your volume, tone, body language, and facial expressions. While you want to express disapproval, it is important to not yell or lose control.

• Be clear with your child that you do not approve of any drug or alcohol use.

• Ask your child why they chose to use drugs. Find out the underlying motivations so that they can be addressed in more positive ways. Kids use drugs for a wide variety of reasons including stress, peer pressure, self-medication, escape, and curiosity. Depending on your child’s reason, you may want to find a positive equivalent, outlet, hobby, or coping skill to replace the drug use.

• Insist that your child give you any drugs they may have remaining so that you can dispose of them. Inspect the child’s room, backpack/purse, bathroom, and vehicle to ensure they don’t have additional drugs hidden.

• Enforce an age-appropriate consequence that is likely to be effective. Restrict or eliminate use of a car, phone, computer, credit card, or spending money. Restrict free time until the behavior changes.

• Maintain ongoing communication with your child. Stay involved in their life. Let them know that they can come to you at any time if they are feeling stressed, scared, overwhelmed, confused, or in need of advice.

• Consider having your child attend a diversion or early intervention program, AA/CA/NA or other 12-step meetings, or local support groups offered through your child’s school, a community group, or your house of worship.

• Connect with local professional behavioral health resources. Depending on the type(s) of drugs your child is using, the quantity and length of time they have been using, and other factors, the correct resources may include individual counseling, family counseling, group therapy, outpatient treatment programs, detox, or inpatient treatment programs.

• Contact notMYkid's Resource Director at (602) 652-0163 x120

• Use SAMHSA's Treatment Locator to find resources near you.

How You Can Help >

Create clear and consistent messages.

Don’t overreact and lose your temper, but your teen needs a strong message that drug and alcohol use is not okay. A parent support group like Families Anonymous may prove very useful. Tell your kids what your family’s position is on alcohol or drugs.
 

Become aware of the drugs that youth use.

Learn about what their effects are and what your kid is likely to look like when under the influence.
 

Get to know your kid better.

Find out how they see themselves, where they want their life to go, and what’s important to them. Determine what drugs and alcohol do for them. Don’t lecture, be clear, and keep your message short and to the point. Spend positive time with your kid in recreation and family activities.
 

Find out the names, addresses, and phone numbers of your kid’s friends.

Get to know the kids if possible. Form a network and keep in touch with the parents of their friends. Don’t be put off if other parents don’t share your concern about substance abuse, or too shocked if you find that another parent is using drugs with them or is supplying the kids with drugs and alcohol.
 

Keep track of where your kid is.

When you allow your kid to go out at night, consider allowing them the privilege of a cell phone that is GPS-enabled and provides a tracking ability so you can monitor their whereabouts. Similar GPS devices are available for cars. There are also several different cell-phone monitoring programs available that can track conversations and location.
 

If youth behavior is unacceptable, use discipline that is most likely to be effective.

Restrict or eliminate use of a car, restrict texting, take away or heavily monitor cell phone use, and limit unsupervised free time unless your kid is committed to being ‘clean and sober.’ Set clear, firm, and reasonable limits. Be consistent.
 

Consider searching their room on a regular basis.

A quick review of the contents of your kid’s room will give you insight into their behavior. Check their room at night. Are they there?
 

Be aware of their internet use.

Consider checking their website “history” and monitor their involvement in social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.
 

Sleepovers and parties are often a problem.

Check to be sure that the other parent will be home and determine if they have the same curfew, values, and expectations as you do. Kids often select homes of absent or permissive parents for sleepovers and all-night drug/alcohol parties.
 

Help your kid avoid people or places associated with drug use.

Your kid is not likely to stay sober if they attend unsupervised parties where drugs and alcohol are available. Help them locate sober activities.
 

Consider having your kid involved in a twelve-step support group.

There are many available like A.A, C.A., or N.A. (young people’s group), or check out a support group offered by the guidance department at your kid’s school.
 

Rid your house of substances.

If other family members have a drinking problem, abuse medication, or use illegal drugs, these issues must be dealt with as well as your kid’s use. Get rid of all of the alcohol in your house and remove any mind-altering drugs from the medicine cabinet.
 

Determine how they pay for their drugs.

If it’s from your ATM card, wallet, or pocketbook - keep them out of reach. Consider the amount of money that you provide for allowance, lunches, movies, etc. You may be financing their habit! Find out if your kid is selling drugs while using.
 

Do drug testing in your home.

Buying several dozen tests online will send your kid a message that you are very committed to their sobriety. Drug testing also gives your kid the ability to say “NO” even when you are not present and allows you to see the full scope of the problem facing your family.
 

Look into healthcare professionals.

If you decide to work with a professional or program for counseling, be sure to check their credentials and experience. Most counselors and psychologists are generalists who do not have specific expertise in substance abuse and they may make the problem worse by addressing the wrong issues.

Intervention Options >

Individual and Family Counseling.

Usually once a week; these sessions are good for dealing with the family issues & personal problems that accompany drug abuse, but not very helpful in gaining sobriety skills. Select a therapist with strong substance abuse expertise or you will probably deal with the wrong issues.
 

Group Therapy.

Usually weekly sessions (60-90 minutes) are good for drug education, gaining skills to be sober, and dealing with emotional issues related to drug abuse and addiction.
 

A.A., N.A., C.A. (Twelve Step Meetings).

Often believed to be the single best way to get and stay sober. New members should attend multiple meetings per week and need to obtain a sponsor.
 

Drug Testing.

Recommended to determine types and amounts of drugs used, to give the user an additional excuse not to use, and to allow parents and therapists to know if intervention is working. Drug testing should not be used as an intervention without psychotherapeutic support.
 

Intensive Outpatient Programs.

One to four hours of outpatient group therapy and drug education per day up to five times per week. Programs are often comprehensive & effective . . . if you manage to get your kid to participate.
 

Wilderness-Oriented Treatment.

These are intensive live-in programs in remote locations that combine confidence-building elements of outward-bound experiences with education, counseling, and group therapy. Follow-up with a therapeutic program at home is necessary. If drugs or alcohol is a serious problem, try to find a program with a strong 12-step orientation.
 

Boarding Schools/ Residential Programs.

Many traditional boarding schools are filled with substance abusing kids who receive little or no help with the problem and often get worse. Residential treatment programs and specialty boarding schools often have excellent success, but as a parent be certain to talk with several graduates of the program about the quality of the program. Keep in mind that the primary job of each program's admissions counselors is "marketing."
 

Psychiatric Hospitals.

Good for stabilization, especially if the addiction is severe or the client is also severely depressed or suicidal. Short-term inpatient programs should be combined with an intensive outpatient program to enhance their effectiveness. If you admit your kid, ensure that the psychiatrist has a strong track record with addictions – as many do not.
 

Commonly Asked Questions >

Why does my kid make risky decisions? I’ve taught him/her well. Why doesn’t he/she know better?

Many parents struggle with that very question. It turns out that according to A. Thomas McLellan, Ph.D., Treatment Research Institute, brain development continues into the early 20’s. The last part of the brain to develop is the decision-making region. So while you may think your kid is engaging in risky behavior, they may not have the ability to judge situations as well as an adult.
 

Why does my kid take the advice of their friends before they listen to me?

Many parents feel that their kid’s friends are more important to them than family. In fact, there is probably no one time in an individual’s life when the influence of peer pressure is stronger than in adolescence. Peer pressure is the result of a need to be accepted within social groups and gain freedom from parents and other authority figures. However, peer pressure situations can also lead to the temptation to use drugs, and parents should teach kids to make their own, informed decisions when offered drugs.
 

Why does my kid feel that drug use is “normal?”

Parents are aware that talking to their kid about drug use is an important deterrent, however, it is impossible to block the images that the media portrays that glamorize drug use. Drugs are normalized by television shows, movies, and music, and are often seen as “just what kids do.” While these images are found in every aspect of the media, it is important that parents identify and discuss these images with their kids.
 

Why is communication between me and my kid so important?

Healthy communication is a key component to the behavioral health and continued development of your kid. Effective communication is as much about the speaker as it is about the listener. We sometimes assume our kids are “checked out,” but could it be that we’re doing a poor job of engaging them? No one likes to feel like they’re being lectured or criticized, or that they don’t have a voice. Kids particularly struggle with how to express negative feelings, and sometimes speak or behave disrespectfully, aggressively, or immaturely. Part of our role as leaders is to try to access the unspoken message.
 

Why is dinnertime so important to preventing drug use for my kid?

According to The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, kids that have two or fewer family dinners per week are twice as likely to smoke daily and get drunk monthly. Family dinners create communication between you and your kid, and you’d be surprised what you discover about your kid through a simple conversation around the dinner table.